July 2009, Peniel Campsite

Every year the Bonus Pastor Foundation in Târgu Mureş organizes an Aftercare Summer Camp for recovered addicts and their families from all over the Transylvanian region. This year the camp was organized in the West-Carpathian Mountains, near the Leşu lake with 80 participants and 5 staff members. This is how a woman, who also participated, recalls the summer camp:

I will try to grab at least some fragments from the multitude of impressions and experiences I had during the Aftercare Summer Camp. We were not that agitated before leaving for the camp, because we already had experience about such a camp, we knew where we were going and most of all, why we were going. After our arrival, my daughter told me that she felt like there wasn't any break between last year’s camp and this year’s. Interestingly, I had the same impression. We left behind us the noisy world, the ringing of mobile phones, the parking fees, the cash dispenser machines and the supermarket sales. We had the small glade in front of us which we already knew from last year. We pitched our tent by the side of the brook, and our holiday began right away. Only a few years ago we rather preferred to spend our holiday in a noisy swimming pool resort where we treated ourselves to cold foamy beers and colorful ice-creams. This time it was totally different. I was looking forward to attending the devotions, the group discussions and the “evening lessons”. We immediately got used to the sound of the bell which was a signal to call us. Even my husband had an instant reaction (although this is not his normal habit; when I ask him to do something, his reaction usually is: "Right now???").

Although I knew from the informational newsletter what the topic of the camp was going to be, I only realized the full meaning of it once we arrived there: “God has called us to live in peace”. Each day had its message about peace concerning the different situations in life. Already in the camp the messages gave me deep thoughts, but the final interpretation came to my mind after I arrived back home. I felt that the time had come to take action, but not like I had done before. Previously I made such a fuss in the name of God, even in my prayers, as though I wanted to make peace and order in the family with force. I thought that if the children stayed quiet, that was the sign of peace. I was wrong. Silence does not necessarily mean peace; I should not force them to be quiet.

Then I also realized that I’m not a person who has missed her vocation, as I kept on saying previously. God has helped me to achieve what I have in my professional life, and I owe Him gratitude--not reproach. Accordingly, I have to arrange my financial and energy resources to have enough in all economic circumstances. And I should not start and end my days with an acid face wanting more and being dissatisfied because they don’t pay me well, the travel to the workplace costs too much, I arrive home late and haven't enough strength to do the house chores, etc. And I haven’t even mentioned yet my worrisome attitude: what should we eat and what clothes will we have to wear (in the future)? – these were big questions. And then: who should wear the small sheepskin waistcoat? (Editor’s note*: This is an allegorical question inspired from a Hungarian novel, Kincskereső Kisködmön translated as The Cloaked Treasure Hunter, written by Ferenc Móra which relates to a fairy sheepskin waistcoat and a family’s poverty.) The Word of God, as well as the group discussion, spotlighted that these are the signs of defeatism.

In the recent past I wanted to take out life insurance for my family in case I were to die early, so then my children would have some money from it. Now, I am ashamed about the fact that I wanted to avert my own responsibility. I would pay a yearly amount of money and the insurance company would take care of my children. Well, I’m asking God in prayer to help me, to make my faith stronger to be able to resist the temptations. I should not live in the prison of the worldly advertisements, worrying about my my finacial needs.

And finally, I would share about something which touched me the most during a group discussion. We were setting up somebody’s "family statue" and I had a place in it. (Editor’s note: It is a special method in psychodrama to visualize the relationships between family members by playing symbolically the role of the members.) The effect was staggering. Actually, I could have also been in the place of the person I played the role of at that moment. Then I saw through the persons and understood the relationships between the family members. I stood there as a child and looked at the relations between the parents sadly. I realized that I can’t help the relationship of my parents anymore, but I can be more careful to not cause sorrow to my children by quarrelling with their father about trivial things (and not even quietly). I’m asking God’s help in this too, because with my will I can only be an "Amazon" type of woman – as a camp-mate characterized me. I was confused and asked her: "What’s that like?" – "Bellicose", the answer came. Then I added, that – "displeased" – because nothing is all right as it is.

Since then my prayers sound like this: “God, forgive me for my many grumblings and quarrels. Please teach me to follow the good ways and to do my tasks humbly and with peace. Amen."

Cs. B. , Braşov