February 2011

Here we are in New Zealand in the middle of our summer. We touched down in December but it seems like we haven't stopped. I find that when I do have moments to rest and reflect a little, I always have thoughts of Bonus Pastor and Ozd flowing back into my mind.

Ozd seems in so many ways a million miles away, not just geographically but culturally and spiritually. I can honestly say that if it was up to me I would be back there tomorrow, everything inside me misses Ozd and the people there.

Practically what did Ozd offer us?
As a family we were able to spend more time with each other in work and play, my boys were never very far away from me, so family time was 7 days a week, compared to in London when I only had week ends. Things like working together often flowed naturally into discussions about life which every father secretly longs for. This boosted our friendships with each other as we learnt to share and cooperate and communicate more effectively as functional family members.

The lack of media input meant we never had to worry about what our children were learning morally, instead we had to learn to entertain ourselves and provided for us was a plentiful supply of natural input, streams hills, a lake, animals, adventure.

For Lorraine and I our blessings were not having so many distractions. We could really focus on our family, no deadlines, no pressures, more time together, and simplicity. Nothing pulling you away from what is important, we had space and time to learn lessons and inspire the children.

We realised for the first time that God had blessed us abundantly in life. I am ashamed to say that before we came to Ozd when we were in London we had a bit of a "poor me" attitude. In Ozd we saw what we really did have, and the kindness and generosity of the people in the village showed us how ungrateful we had been, and helped us to look at things outside of ourselves.

My work for Bonus Pastor changed my outlook on life. Working with the volunteers who were giving up their holidays and money to come and serve was a great privilege to me. It felt very special to be a part of a group of people who shared a common faith and desire to serve. They showed practical Christian love not only to me but to my boys, who – I could tell – watched them and learnt from them. Their example had a big impact on our little family, even now the boys talk about our volunteer friends.

Another unexpected benefit was the relationships we formed with the clients. We came to know and love many of the men that went through the Rehab. It was the changes that I saw in these men that inspired us to work for Bonus Pastor for as long as we did. It was so good for my boys making friends with the clients and coming to understand and discuss things that other children don't ever learn. But for me, I think, most of all it was seeing Truth spoken into lives and watching it grow from a seed to change not just the men but their families as well, that really made an impression on me.

Bonus Pastor are hugely successful and I believe it’s because of their walk with God, and that they pass on His truth in their work. For the first time in my life I felt passionate about the work I was doing and greatly satisfied to be able to give to such a great cause. In my time there I saw the foundation struggle as they left the liquid and flexible style of the "start up phase" of an organisation and entered the more rigid and procedure driven phase of a mature organisation. It is difficult for any organisation to have to manage its own change, and was not easy with the added financial pressures.

However, my prayer for them is that they never fail to see God’s hand and blessing in their work, most of all the blessing they are passing on to Romania. I also pray that the Rehab becomes more at home in the community of Ozd around them. God does not call us to serve some and not others, but to lay down our lives in humility to all. I say this because I know how much I learnt from the simplicity and gentleness of the people I lived with for 3 years. I came to serve, and found myself being served, I came to do mission, and found I became the mission. In the backwardness of Ozd I saw the correct foundation for which I could build my family on. In the absence of all our modern rubbish and distractions I came to see what is really important in Life.

Maybe I sound like I'm against modernization, but I'm not. I just wish it didn't come at such an expense to us. We have paid the price because our society has moved forward without God and in doing so it has cost us many of our Christian values, and our spiritual inner peace. Perhaps the greatest tragedy is that in the west most of us are blind to it, we are hurting and empty, so our solution is to just run faster in the wrong direction.

Thanks to my time in Ozd, I feel we have seen another way of doing things, it has opened my eyes and helped me to understand God’s ways better. Lorraine and I have said many times "we have to take Ozd home with us in our hearts". And here we are in New Zealand and I am trying so hard to remember what we learnt. I know that we will never forget the lessons we have learnt, and the people we met. I think we are wiser parents and a better family because of our time with you, and we really thank God for this.

Brendon Wheeler, New Zealand

Thank You, Brendon and Lorraine, that You've been with us!

Brendon & Lorraine Wheeler with their four children came back to Ozd recently, in March 2009. Joellah, Lorraine’s cousin, joined them and she is going to stay a few weeks. The Wheeler family plan to stay at least one more year. Brendon is going to work at the Ozd property and coordinating volunteer work-groups. We were interested what story lies behind this family who gave up their comfort and moved for a while to a country, which is so different from theirs.

Brendon, can you tell something about yourself?
I grew up in New Zealand, married Sunday school sweet heart in 1991 aged 20. University degree in NZ in finance, upon completion arrived in London in 1998 and employed as Investment Banker. In 2000 had first baby boy, now we have four boys. In April 2008 retired from banking and looked for something else to do with my life. Decided to rent out house owned in London to use as income and do charity work for a few years.

What was the reason you came to Romania?
I think I went through a bit of an awakening at the age of 35. I became a little disillusioned with life and the career in banking I had at the time. I simply got to a point where I had everything I wanted and yet was not happy. I felt like there was something missing in my life. I decided to seek out what God wanted in my life, and put myself second for a change. I began searching more spiritually as a result. I decided I needed to leave my job which was basically just making rich people richer and do something meaningful. In short I just wanted to start serving God in some way, I was praying to this end when I heard of the role at Bonus Pastor, it felt right so I followed it.

Why you chose Bonus Pastor Foundation as the place of your service?
We have supported Bonus Pastor at various times in the past through Paul Jensen. We have done this because we have felt called to. In the same way we would like to work closer with Bonus Pastor, therefore when the opportunity arose, Bonus Pastor was our first port of call in regards to volunteer work. I work as a Volunteer Coordinator. So when teams come over from other countries to work for Bonus Pastor I organize work for them to do. When I'm not doing the volunteer coordinators role I help out doing various other things for BPF. Basically whatever needs doing I get stuck in and do it, using whatever skills I have.

My experiences in Romania have been quite amazing compared to my suburban London life, I can’t think of two environments more extreme from each other. Life in the village of Ozd has been hard but incredibly rewarding. Home schooling the children proved to be more difficult than expected. The farming work I picked up more easily than I thought I would, and I found the teams that I coordinated incredibly rewarding, this part I enjoyed the most. Working together with people for a common “meaningful” goal, and changing people’s lives for the better as a result. I can not emphasis enough how rewarding it has been for us as a family, for my wife, for my boys and for myself.

What is the most difficult part of your job?
My wife and I have been away from NZ for over 10 years now, and my sons don’t really know their grand parents. I constantly wonder whether I am doing the right thing by my family? My sons have grown a lot from their experiences in Romania, and they are closer as brothers. My whole family has grown closer together, but I wonder if they are also missing out on things, like friends and hobbies etc. We have been greatly rewarded as a family, but it’s not been without its sacrifices. Giving up friends and family.

Are there language or cultural barriers?
Loads, you just get by the best you can. Try to learn the language and not to judge the people. For example in the west we are very driven and efficient in the way we do things. By definition any poorer country is not going to be like this, and it’s not right to jump in and say “do it this way”, because you think its better. You must see that you can also learn from the way they do things, i.e. putting people before objects and goals.

Do you notice any growth in your work or in the people?
Myself and my family have personally grown loads over this year. I can not begin to tell you what and by how much. But also during my time in Romanian I have seen that I have had an impact on people’s lives, not just the clients, but the groups that come to Ozd to work. It has been a very blessed situation to have been in. I think you can’t help but grow when you are around so many people giving all the time. You just end up over flowing and spilling out on to each other all the time. When people come to give from their hearts Gods love, and they all have this common goal then everybody involved grows and changes as a natural result of this, the clients, the staff, the volunteers... everyone. That’s why I can say I have been the one receiving, even though I came to volunteer.

Why is it important for you to do volunteer work?
For many years have been working for myself and my own fulfillment. Like most people I work to earn money, so I can spend that money on myself. There are two problems with this, first the work has no meaning in itself, apart from the purpose of propping up a lifestyle, it is therefore meaningless in itself. Second, the lifestyle itself becomes fairly devoid of meaning, because it is only there to serve me. Doing voluntary work cures both these situations because the work has meaning and this in turn overflows into and becomes part of your own lifestyle. That is... because you are not working for money anymore, it automatically becomes a lifestyle choice, i.e. the reward is that it is meaningful. Hope that makes sense.

This is your second time as a volunteer at the BPF, here in Romania. Why didn’t go to an other organization, but still to BPF? What did you bring back here?
I like what Bonus Pastor is doing here a lot. Last year I got to see first hand that change in people’s lives from when they arrived to when they left, and I was impressed with the work here, to say the least. Also I feel very strongly that work with addicts is very important and is generally undervalued and neglected by societies. I have had experiences with addicts in my family and seen the destruction it causes. If I can help so that these things don’t happen in other families than this means a great deal to me.

How long do you and your family intend to stay and what plans do you have for this period?
About a year give or take a few months, but this depends on many things and may change. Our plans are just to pitch in and help.

What changes would you like to see in the BPF’s life?
My focus is not BPF in general, so I can’t comment there, but I would like to see a few things happen in the Ozd centre. First I would like to make a little progress on the castle, so getting some toilets and showers there for volunteer groups would be great. Also we need a work shop and shed for vehicles, this is a priority for me. Finally a lot of people would love to see the swamp developed into a lake as an area of meditation for the staff and clients. I would love to take part in this. These are the big things for me but there are many many smaller jobs that I would also like to see completed. And of course it all depends on time and money.

Brendon shared with us his going away speech he had when left church in London:

“I have been asked a lot why are you doing this? – looking at me like I’m mad. So, I guess I owe you an explanation, before I get written of completely. I was debating with R. yesterday whether we were on a mission or not by doing what we are doing. I said certainly not, and would just like to say please do not confuse this as any sacrificial like mission.

In my mind, I’m not really giving anything up, in anyway. We have found ourselves in a blessed situation, one in which not doing something like this would seem a cop out. That’s not to say this... we are however letting go. By that I mean letting go of what’s secure, both socially, with friends and financially and in our environment, with home comforts.

So, it’s a bit like a spiritual bungi jump. It’s also like a bungi because if you’ve ever done one, you know it takes time to build up the guts, you need to stand and watch many people do it, before you, be inspired into it. So this is a result of being inspired for years by watching people jump. Respect guys!

You can’t be around people doing these things, relying on God, not taking the safe choice every day... And not be inspired to change... it rubs off.

Also going back to the bungi analogy, I do expect to be caught, because that’s what the great thing about bungi’s. The idea is you don’t end up broken at the bottom, I’ll be looking out for big arms along the way. That’s not to say I expect things to work out physically, materially or financially, they may not, it may turn to mush, and if it does I won’t be says “Lord why didn’t you catch me.” But I do expect things to work out spiritually, because that’s kind of what the promise is.

Which brings me to my next analogy... R. kindly helped me building a fence a few months ago and we were talking about spiritual mussels, and weaklings. I mentioned that when I was in Romania I was told by C. that those who had been tortured by the communists had a sense of a peace about them that bordered on the surreal. And it seemed to me that the spirit worked a lot like a muscle... In that the more it was strained and put under pressure and worked the stronger it gets. And when I look at life that’s certainly what I see. Which doesn’t say much for the cosy western lifestyle we lead. In many ways our lives are designed to take the work out of life

If I went to Gods gym and had an appraisal it might read something like this. Extremely inflexible, little muscles, excess fat around the mid life, cardiovascular poor, can only run short distances. General bad health due to soft lifestyle. So probably the other reason we are doing this is to hopefully get a long overdue work out at Gods gym of life. I think perhaps it works a bit like this...

In order to “know” what you’ve really got, we need to experience loss.
In order to truly know fullness we need to experience hunger.
In order to truly “know” acceptance, it helps if we experience rejection first.
In order to truly know providence we need to experience suffering.
In order to truly know love we need to first experience loneliness.
In order to experience being held, we need to step out and let go.

So in a nutshell we are doing this seemingly silly thing to build muscle and to know better the real important things in life.”